Representation

[As published in Baltimore OUTloud 3/7/14]

I am writing this post the morning after the Academy Awards where Jared Leto won for best supporting male actor…  for playing a Trans woman.   I have to say I am dismayed at this development.  Right now there are probably a hundred blogs or social media threads running on “how great that is” to “how could this happen?”  I am not going to rehash their arguments other than to say this portrait of a drug addicted hooker seems to be the only popular role for any Trans character in film or television.  It really is down to others writing and presenting the Trans community as they see us and is done so in a manner that objectifies and thus allows us to be dehumanized.  We are “those” people.  And I am thinking it is time we start to own that discussion.

Are there Trans drug addicts? Yes there are.  Are all Trans persons addicts? Not by a long shot.  Don’t most Trans people engage in sex work? No.  There are some who do, but most do not.  If I had asked those questions of any other minority you might be offended.   The problem we have is of image.  And that, in part, is of our own doing by not being out.  The notion that our value in the world is actually as a burden or parasite for the rest of you to bear seems to be the norm.  The reality is otherwise.  Trans persons do participate in all levels and aspects of society.  And we have many such persons who have contributed greatly to the lives of all of us on the planet.  You just are unaware that they do.

I personally know Trans doctors, lawyers, pilots, engineers, software developers, IT and database administrators, filmmakers, musicians, business executives, social workers, government workers, authors, professors, graphic artists, teachers, fire fighters, law enforcement professionals and yes, even hairdressers.   Are there some sex workers out there? Yes there are but my take is that Trans persons represent so much more than that.  We are real people (remember that Leto’s Rayon is a fictional character), doing real jobs, with real families and friends.

Lynn Conway

I am going to cite two examples of how Trans women have likely directly touched your life.  For a moment I am going to presume that you have some kind of electronics in your possession.   A computer, laptop, pad, phone or any other modern device, like your TV, will count in the exercise.  You owe a debt of thanks to a Trans woman for all of those things.  You see, she developed and invented the underlying technology in those devices -- Very Large Scale Integration (VLSI), which allowed complex integrated circuits to be developed.  She literally wrote the book on this technology.  Lynn Conway, who transitioned in the late 1960’s, is a pioneer on par with Edison or Tesla and is largely responsible for the technology we enjoy today as part of our everyday world.  Share that knowledge with somebody you know today. 

Martine Rothblatt

My second example is Martine Rothblatt.  If you use satellite radio in any capacity you can thank Martine for that.  She started Sirius Satellite Radio in 1990 along with a number of other satellite broadcasting companies around that same time.  For many of us that would be enough of a success but not in her case.  In the late 1990’s one of her children was diagnosed with life a threatening pulmonary hypertension disease.  She was told there was no cure.  In response she pivoted and reeducated herself in the life-sciences and started another company to find a cure for her daughter.  Today that company, United Therapeutics, occupies several blocks of downtown Silver Spring Maryland.  And yes, she found the cure.

If we are going to seek icons or examples for Trans persons why can we not use examples like these women?  Either story would make for compelling entertainment for the public.  Yes, they are not tawdry or titillating stories that fit a preconceived notion of Trans women put forward by Hollywood.  But unlike Leto’s rendition they are real people, leading real lives and representing our community with excellence.

There Must Be 50 Ways

[As published in Baltimore OUTloud 2/21/14]

Some 39 years ago Paul Simon recorded the iconic 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (yes, 1975!).   This was of course in the pre MTV age so we had to listen to the lyrics to get the images portrayed.   You could “Hop on the bus, Gus” or “Slip out the back Jack”.  I find it interesting that those contemplating a hasty departure all seemed to be men. I suspect it was merely an artifact of the times but it also spoke to whom Simon wrote the song for.  

This past week the folks at FaceBook gave us another 50 ways.  Actually, more than 50.  This time though it was ways to express your gender on FaceBook.  I had many friends pinging me about this in an excited way saying “Isn’t this great!” or “Wow what progress”.  When I responded with less than unbridled enthusiasm they seemed very perplexed.

Let me start off by again reiterating my feelings regarding labels.  Last week I wrote about how labels seem to be defining LGBT candidates as opposed to what their positions are.  I think this is the same kind of thing except worse.  Let me be clear, I am all for you self-identifying any way you wish.  By all means please do so.  Realize, however that in doing so you allow others to also define you and what those labels mean.  In our already fractured, stratified and diminutive population I fear it creates the opportunity for abuse, discounting and a caste system of sorts. 

A few columns back I expressed concern about names and what we call ourselves. This FaceBook change once again brings that forward. Now, a “knowledgeable” Cisgender (non-transgender) person can assert his/her Cis-Pride (or privilege) by declaring they are a Cis Male or Female.  And the rest of the world who largely only know “Cis” folk and now point with indifference to those who are “other”.  By “other” I mean some 50+ others such as Bigender. Gender Fluid, Neither and Neutrois.   And somehow “other” can translate to “less worthy”.  I am not saying it has to, just that it can.

I think there is a natural human tendency to use taxonomy and categories to help us understand the world.  We like tidy boxes for things:  Republican/Democrat, Fat/Thin, Rich/Poor, and more recently Gay/Straight, and of course very traditionally Male/Female.  We do the same in the wild with things such as Mammal/Reptile or Fish/Fowl.  Of course nature is not so binary, so “black and white”.  Yes we get tossed things like the Duck Billed Platypus, or carnivorous plants, or human tinkered photosynthetic fish.  We somehow view those things as exceptions but they happen to humans too.  There are intersexed persons, and trans persons, and gender non-conforming persons as well.

I personally view myself as female.  I made some effort to make that so.  It is what is marked on my driver’s license and passport.  I do not view female as any one thing.  I enjoy watching baseball, working with wood, fixing my own car, launching rockets, working with robots, etc. etc.  There is no male monopoly on that stuff and if you tell me otherwise then I would be probably be looking at a misogynist.   When pressed, or asked about my history, I sometimes will say I am a woman of Trans history (not one of the gender options on Facebook).  That differentiates who I am today vs where I came from.  I recently had a business meeting where a colleague asked me in a roundabout way about such things and I stated that we all have interesting histories but that such matters were not pertinent to the business we were discussing.  He left it at that.

There is a lot more to say on this topic but let me get to my immediate concern.  Legislators.  You see, as I have previously mentioned some of them have hang ups with names and conventions. We have worked hard to get them to comprehend Trans, as a nice “black and white” perspective that there are male and female and there are some persons who must make life changes and may be “in between”.  Of course some of you are going to charge me with only supporting the gender binary. I am not. But if we make too much fuss about all the other variations we lose the legislator’s attention or scare them.  Let me be totally clear -- Gender identity legislation includes all of those people on the FaceBook list but I am concerned that offering too much detail here, which may add to their confusion, is just 50 ways to lose your legislator.    And in this case we only need one Senator to have concerns, and two did and expressed so in the last Senate JPR hearing on SB212.  Just sayin’.

Define Epidemic

[As published in Baltimore OUTloud, 11/15/13]

November is a curious month for Trans persons.  The days around the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR), November 20^th, are often difficult ones for many in our community.  Add Thanksgiving, with some trans folk being estranged from their families, and you can have a pretty potent emotional mix for trans folk.  I personally do not like the TDoR.  I am not sure I know a single person who really does.  It is not a happy event.   Invariably these observances have a reading of names, and more recently, a detailed and graphic description of the person’s demise.  I usually find myself in tears.

Although these events typically spotlight those who are the victims of crimes, they occasionally will reference those who have taken their lives by their own hand.  I say occasionally because unless the person was “out” to somebody within our community we probably had no idea that there was a linkage between the person’s gender identity and that suicide.   I contend if you read or hear of a suicide of a 40-something male who by all other appearances did not have any other issues, you may be looking at a trans person.  I know; I was one such person.

The numbers are appalling.  According to a joint NCTE (www.transequality.org) and NGLTF(www.ngltf.com) study (http://bit.ly/fWYffL) 41% of trans persons have attempted suicide.   Not merely thought about it, but actually have tried to kill themselves.   Looking at the national figures for comparison tell the true tale for us.   The rate of suicide is 1.6% for the general population.  Recently, the U.S. Military has had an uptick of suicides in which their numbers about double that of the general public (3.2%).  This increase is described as an epidemic (http://bloom.bg/Nvdujw).  Last year there were a total of 350 military suicides.  As a result of this crisis, great forces, funds and energy have been poured into seeking solutions (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/invisible-casualties) to military suicides.  And for trans persons with a 41% attempt rate? Not so much.

You might ask why such a disparity between the trans community and the general public?  The reasons that persons seek suicide as a “solution” are many, but there are key indicators that are common.  Depression, of course, being the primary factor.   Despite advances in civil rights for trans persons the stigma of being trans continues to be devastating to many trans persons of all ages.  And although we are making forward progress, that progress is slow.  In the recent ENDA vote in the U.S. Senate almost all of the opposition was centered on trans persons. 

In California opponents of AB1266, which allows trans identified students the right to access facilities for the gender they identify with, has found nearly a half million signatures in an attempt to put the matter on a ballot referendum.  The number of those signatures alone indicates clearly why such protections need to exist in the first place. 

Congrats to the LGB folks who have made progress; it is now OK to be gay!  But trans, that is still way too weird.  The “ick factor” still seems to dominate thinking of opponents.  Fabricated tales of indiscretions of trans persons, and trans kids are flowing freely in the conservative media.  And we wonder why we find some of these kids killing themselves in response to this hate.

Many will argue that trans persons are mentally ill and that such a high rate of suicide attempts proves that.  This is, of course, debunked by the evidence and the mental health community does not believe this to be the case either.  I contend that many trans persons are saner than the rest of the population given the rigid scrutiny one must navigate to obtain any medical intervention.  I suspect astronauts may be the only population vetted more thoroughly.   The issue faced is not an internal one but rather external coming from outside forces, prejudices, and phobias.  It is not uncommon for a trans person to reach a limit where suicide looks like an attractive option.

What resolves this problem?  Time probably.  That and if we could be much more visible in the world.   I am not talking about sticking out like a sore thumb; I am talking about not hiding.  Our LGB peers figured this out.  Now they are the couple next door. 

We need to have an assertive campaign to educate, just like our LGB peers have done with marriage.  They made it the new normal.  When you have those kinds of numbers of trans folks opting to take an early exit, I would contend that clearly defines an epidemic in our LGBT community.   This TDoR take stock that for every name read there are likely many others not read and let us make sure we honor them as well.

Suspenders and a Belt

[As published in Baltimore OUTloud 9/20/13]

When I was a kid there was this joke.  “Q: Why does a fireman wear red suspenders?  A: To keep his pants up.”  Later I learned that suspenders were a perfectly reasonable and fashionable way to hold your pants up.  But it did pose a question to me when I would see people wearing suspenders and a belt.  I cannot recall ever hearing somebody say, “My suspenders broke, thank goodness I was wearing a belt as a backup.”   Moreover I don’t think I ever saw a person who would refuse to go outside with only suspenders for fear of losing their pants.  And those who might insist on both before leaving the house might have an issue if they had only one or the other.  But this is exactly the situation we see today with employment rights for trans persons. 

In 2012 the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) in Macy v. Holder ruled that discrimination in employment against trans persons is sex discrimination under Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  That means this is the case in the entirety of the USA—everyplace—regardless if it is in Nebraska, Nevada or New York or whether there is a state or local statute or not.   This decision by the commissioners was unanimous and included GOP appointees,   indicating to me that this was not a partisan decision.  Since then there have been a number of cases brought before the EEOC including from Maryland with respect to this matter and to my knowledge, all have been settled in favor of the trans person.  For purposes of our discussion I am calling this decision our “suspenders”.

You might think this would be the biggest news in history for trans rights.  And for my money you would be right.  It should be!  After all, Title VII sex discrimination is settled law with the Supreme Court in Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins.  And so there should be shouting from rooftops, victory parties, parades, and fireworks in celebration.  With our national LGBT rights organizations crowing from every podium, from every talking head on TV, posting in social media, and any venue they can, “It is no longer OK to discriminate against trans persons in the United States in employment!!!”  

Alas no.  That news is relegated and buried to pages and paragraphs deep in reports, the Nth slide in presentations, three or four clicks deep in websites or qualified into oblivion.  Put another way, they have buried the lede.  If you were a trans person seeking guidance as to how to file a claim or even that you have the right to do so, your search might come up flat.  Or worse, be told you do not have rights in your state or locality.  And one has to ask, “Why are we not out educating our people, employment lawyers and human resources professionals about this?”  I think I know why, and it has to do with a “belt” called ENDA.

The Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) is up for consideration in the U.S. Senate.  This time, unlike its stripped down 2007 predecessor, it includes not only gay and lesbian folk but trans folk too.  In fact any gender non-conforming persons would be covered under Title VII.  So what does ENDA add for trans persons?  Little.

Here’s the problem.  ENDA might indeed pass the Senate before the end of this year.  And when it arrives in the house it will likely be DOA with the GOP.  Meaning there is no real expectation that it will make it through the house until there is a change in management there.  That would likely not happen until January 2015, or 2017, or whenever.  Maybe never.   

Our national leaders are not serving us in this matter.  They are saying suspenders are not good enough to hold up your pants.  You apparently need a belt and suspenders.  They are not saying we have won a huge victory and should be enshrining it in corporate handbooks and winning case after case.  In fact, they are afraid that such cases might find rulings to the contrary.  If that was the mindset in Marriage Equality where would that movement stand today?

The bottom line:  We do not have to wait for ENDA to exercise our rights, we can do so today.  And I for one would not be satisfied with a story that says, wait your turn, with a pat on the head.  Ask that organization that claims to represent you where they stand and what are they doing to promote the EEOC decision.  If you get anything other than an enthusiastic “We are spreading the word and promoting it” then you should probably ask them why do we need a belt and suspenders?

Call Me?

[As published in Baltimore OUTloud, 9/6/13]

The past month or so there has been a lot of noise in the media about pronouns. Some of it most assuredly from the trans community but the bulk of it seems to be coming from the greater LGB and mainstream media. Of course, the instigation of this is Private Chelsea Manning’s very public self-declaration, following her sentencing, of a new name and preferred pronoun and the immediate rush and pressure by many to “embrace” this person whom none of us have seen or interacted with save for a “selfie” portrait.

I’ll not revisit my last column which chastised that soldier’s explanation that in some way being trans caused so much emotional distress that she had to release classified information—an insult to any trans person who handles classified today. The issue here now becomes one of identification, interaction, and self-declaration. How do I address you? What do you call me? Who gets to decide that?

I’ve attended functions and conferences where gender variance is the norm. And in those limited settings it is not uncommon to come across folks in various states of socially “unacceptable” gender ambiguity. You see we all have some set notions on gender expression. Note I said expression, not identity.

Perhaps a modest tutorial is needed here. Gender identity is who you believe you are with respect to your person. Some identify as female, some male, some as both and some as neither. Gender expression is how you show your identification to others. Clothing, hairstyles, makeup, manner, speech, etc. all play into what others perceive as your expression. It is quite possible to have a gender identity that is incongruent with one’s gender expression, as perceived by social norms. And this is where we end up with problems for some.

For example, a trans woman who appears in a forum, group or conference, who has a gender identity of female, who has not physically presented socially as female, may still be known by a female name and request feminine pronouns in those settings. This is not uncommon. This person, however, is often living in the closet outside of that venue. And if you were to approach them on the street they would likely use their male name and pronouns. So are they he? Or she? And some, including the person in question, might say, it “depends.” Confused yet?

One of the protocols in Transdom is you often ask a person how they identify and what pronouns they prefer. I have had to do this on occasion when meeting someone new; sometimes even after meeting them again as they often change their mind. Personally, I frequently have this issue with persons on the trans masculine, female-to-male, spectrum because sometimes frankly I just cannot tell.

The same holds true for those who identify as genderqueer for me. Rather than assume and insult the person, I ask the identity and pronoun questions. However as a person who has gone to some effort to actively present socially and physically as a female, if I get asked those same things I am frankly a bit insulted. I mean really? But I guess it's like any other middle-aged person getting carded buying beer. You don’t really need to, but you do it for everybody so nobody complains. My answer to the question on pronouns lately has become, “Gee. What do you think?”

And so now we come back to our self-declared gender variant persons. I fear we are headed to a world that every conversation with a person we meet for the first time will need to begin with, “How do you identify?” And, “What names and pronouns do you prefer?” I guess for those of us not quite tuned in we will probably need to adopt some kind of color-coded name badge. This is, of course, absurd in practice.

Those folks who have rejected the gender binary need to stop being quite so angry if somebody mis-genders them upon meeting them. Our brains are fundamentally wired to recognize gender by physical and learned social cues. Even if the person in question prefers to be referred to as “they” rather than he or she. Most assuredly this is the case when all evidence appears to be to the contrary.

Why do I care about this you ask? Because just as our gay and lesbian peers learned that by being gender conforming they could get traction in the mainstream for all in the movement, we in the trans movement have similar challenges. And so we enter the confluence of identity and the law which likes clean and tidy definitions like male and female. Nobody can see your gender identity. What they do see, and make determination of, is your expression. And based on that expression we have classes of persons who fit particular legal constructs with regards to protections.

And while I personally believe that you should not be discriminated against regardless of your gender expression (lesbians and gays, I am talking about you too), this becomes a very hard sell to move some lawmakers who fear that equality for trans folk equals ambiguity in such things. And this is the difference between politics and the law, especially if they have no idea what to call you.

Man Bites Dog!!!

A brief note:  Due to deadlines for print, this piece was written prior to Chelsea Manning's disclosure of her intent to transition.

Each time I prepare to write this column I am concerned there will not be material to work with. But like the Daily Show I always find that news arrives with enough absurdity that there seems to always be plenty of source material to work with; this past several weeks were no exception.  It would seem there were several trans folk in the public eye and not a one was particularly positive story of note.

You see these were stories that had been grabbed by the mainstream and LGBT media for their sensationalism and little else.  It’s always interesting how we seem fascinated by the exception rather than the rule in such matters.  “Man bites dog” is a story, the other way around, not so much even if it is the more common, mundane and dare I say boring case.

The first instance was the case of a well-publicized trans person who several months ago with great fanfare announced their transition from Male to Female.  This person works in the media so you might expect they would have some understanding of how their own business works but apparently not.  The transition decision by August was no longer a story really.  What made it one anew was the decision by that same person to de-transition and return to life as a man. 

In a very small number of cases, usually less than 1%, this happens, for any number of reasons.  Transition is likely the hardest thing a human being can undertake, there really are few people who are standing by cheering, encouraging and actively supporting a person in transition.    The truth of the matter is there are many impediments, including marriage, children, family, employment and other concerns that make the decision to proceed with transition difficult for anybody.  And frankly not everybody can, or in some cases should, get there.  It is hard.

What makes this matter and a few others like it this past month most troubling is that rather than owning the de-transition these folks sought to blame it on other factors.  That somehow it was not their fault.  That there was a medical condition, or I had amnesia or I just stopped my hormones.  I get that these folks had a different road to travel, and that is OK, but when you elect to de-transition as a news headline and then offer a story that is something other than simply “transition was not for me” it weakens the entire community.  Doing so very publicly makes it worse.

Here’s the rub, most folks who transition go on to leading useful lives in their chosen gender expression, few de-transition and most of those who go that path do so for reasons that often are associated with personal angst, be it marriage, family or livelihood.   Period.   Stop blaming other things and just own it, it is ok we will not think less of you, in reality we will think more of you.

The second hubbub was regarding an Army PFC, who presently says she is trans, who also happens to have been recently convicted of multiple counts of espionage.    Regardless of your feelings about the PFC and what materials were divulged the simple matter is that classified info was disclosed and that is against the law in the USA.  Period.  This person was convicted of doing so but coincident with the sentencing we hear again about the PFC Manning’s gender identity “issue” as a primary force in creating a situation where she “had to” release classified materials.  Bullshit.  There are many trans persons, including this author, who have or had security clearances.  These trans folk have been in pre-transition, transition, post-transition and non-transition states with respect to their job, or service, which allowed them the privilege of having a clearance.   Contrary to the belief of some, being trans has no impact on your clearance unless you try and keep it a secret.  And to suggest that being trans makes you mentally ill, and as such no longer trustworthy with secrets is an insult to those who work and serve in that community or the military. 

Both of these stories will be used by our opponents to describe reasons why we are not worthy of our civil rights.  It is unfortunate that people in our own community who construct these stories to rectify or explain personal behavior seem to have no notion of the greater impact they have on perpetuating stereotypes with respect to trans people.  I certainly hope they all get the counseling and guidance they need.  But the rest of the world needs to know that these are “man bites dog” stories and need to be treated accordingly.

[As published in Baltimore OUTloud 8/23/2013]

Rational T-hought Returns

Back in 2011 when I was first getting organized with thoughts of activism and making forward progress I started this blog.  I've let it sit dormant for some time now as I had originally viewed it as a campaign.  At the time there was a deep community argument regarding incrementalism and civil rights legislation for the T in LGBT.  That battle ended up being called by the MD Senate President in the bottom of the 9th with bases loaded for the home team.  I have left those posts up here because I think you need to keep a history of where you have been.  My thinking and methods have changed some since that time and I have managed to be a part of passing comprehensive legislation in 2011 and 2012.

Today some of those same issues exist, and we have made great local and national progress and I have been writing about this for some time in Baltimore OUTloud for a while now.  I have decided to start placing a copy of what I write on this blog for posterity and to insure timely web publication.  I know some of you follow me on OUTloud or Facebook but now and again the OUTloud website does not get updated and I want you to enjoy the fruits of my wisdom (just kidding).

Bear with me a bit as I try and move/copy things here, it will take me a while to get it sorted out.  But you can read my latest post here

Occasionally I will post here on matters that do not go to publication with OUTloud but those might just be commentary. 

S.

Broken Record

With the recent events of the Supreme Court and marriage the LGBT community has much to be happy about.  Yes there is work to be done in states where marriage laws need to be amended, struck down, or repealed.  Organizations like Lambda Legal are on the case filing suits all over the country on behalf of couples who want to see progress made.  What is alarming is that it seems to be the only song that is playing on the “LGBT radio.”  Marriage, marriage, marriage.  It would seem almost twenty-four hours a day, one song.  And I have to pose the question, what about everything else?

Am I surprised? No.  In fact I kind of foreshadowed it.  And the sad part is the media has played along.  There have been some pretty momentous changes for Trans folk in the past few weeks but I doubt few know of it.  Certainly the fact that a handful of the reactionaries in congress are trying again for a one-man one-woman marriage amendment to the constitution seems to have overshadowed that news, or some legal activity that essentially codifies what SCOTUS has set into motion seems to be much more important out there.  It’s OK; I will use this space to catch you all up.

This past week Gender Rights Maryland announced that in a letter to the LGB Caucus of the Maryland state legislature that the key Maryland state offices responsible for the implementation of the Affordable Care Act (ACA a.k.a. “ObamaCare”) have agreed to insure that Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation anti-discrimination protections in the act will be put in place in Maryland as of October 1, 2013.  Maryland will now join California, Oregon, Vermont and the District of Columbia with such a policy.  I know some are going “eh” but the reality is for transfolk this is huge.  You see it has been quite common for insurance companies to deny any kind of coverage for transfolks just because they were Trans.  Meaning that therapies they use for other folks would be routinely denied.  For example, hormone therapy.  This now means that if coverage is offered to anybody it must be offered to everybody, Trans or otherwise.    This is a big step for equality for Trans persons in Maryland.  It’s ok, you can shout about it and have a celebratory party later.  But for once Maryland is not playing catch up here with the rest of the country.

The other matters concern the Federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).  Last year the commission determined that Trans discrimination was sex discrimination under Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  The case, Macy v. Holder, found that the ATF had discriminated in not hiring Mia Macy for a position they had previously offered her.  Macy is an MtF Trans person.  The Department of Justice, (DOJ) was instructed to correct those issues and this week did so by offering her back pay with interest, legal fees, and a job.  It remains to be seen if she will actually take the job.  I know how it is when you have been told they don’t want you someplace, you are usually reluctant to go back there.

In light of this another case brought in the private sector by Freedom to Work and Lambda Legal reached a settlement on another trans discrimination case with a Maryland defense contractor.  That marks the first time such a thing has happened in private sector EEOC matter.  This is also huge.  The message is clear.  It is no longer OK to discriminate against trans persons in employment.  Anyplace in the U.S., period.  Unfortunately there are legal naysayers who say it is not binding and that the Supremes have yet to see a case on such things.  And so we should not vigorously pursue cases with the EEOC.  Rubbish.  That kind of argument could be applied to any matter, and if it was you would not have seen DOMA go there.  

This reinforces the fact that the EEOC is now taking your employment discrimination claims nationally, with, or without, a local or state law that protects you for gender identity discrimination.   My take is this is a new “right” we have right now, and we need to stop waiting for the future protections and embrace what is in front of us in the present.  Rights, when not exercised vigorously atrophy from disuse.  Nothing in these advances suggest we should not pursue things like the Employment Non Discrimination Act or other state level statutes but it does say get moving now!  Go file your complaint, if you have one, now, today.

As to that broken record out there of the same song being played over and over again (marriage, marriage, marriage).  I suggest you adjust your tuner, there are a lot of other stations to listen to.

As published in Baltimore OUTloud, 7/26/2013

Out in the Rain

Pride events tend to be a mixed bag for trans folk. I dare say that even though we generally are welcome “it is not our party.” Even though many of us may self-identify as LGB many in the LGB crowd have us pre-labeled with the “T”. Sometimes that “T” fits comfortably and others not so much.

For me the reality is over the last few years I find I occasionally want to be at arm’s length from some events and people. There are aspects of Pride that have always made me uncomfortable. I’ve never attended or participated in a Pride parade despite having probably been in nearly 100 parades in my youth (I was a self-identified marching “band fag”). And you would likely not find me within a tactical nuke of a high-heel race. And I do not participate in or watch drag, period. Never have, never will.

Recently there was a dust-up online about the folks that run the BET awards asking their host B. Scott not to wear heels and makeup during the awards. I would have thought they should have known about Scott in advance. Scott, who identifies as a gay male, regularly appears in public “en femme”. What surprised and irked some was the headline on the matter which read “Trans Media Maven B. Scott…” (Tinyurl.com/ms5m9n3).

In recent years the term transgender has been morphed to trans or trans* as a way of pleasing those who do not identify as transgender. I know that just sounded oxymoronic to some of you but many who identify as “transsexual” are not comfortable being lumped under the transgender “umbrella”. So asking B. Scott to “represent” for persons like me is problematic. Is he transgender? Indeed, by the accepted definition he is. Do I want him, or Ru Paul, as a role model and person whom others equate with me and who I am? No. No more than I want any other gay man to do so.

My dear friend Diego Sanchez, fellow trans person and former staffer for Rep. Barney Frank, shared the following wisdom with me: 

“While transgender is an umbrella term used to describe an extensive variety of people, I believe you will find that many transsexuals prefer to be out in the rain rather than under the umbrella.”

You see that umbrella covers drag queens / kings, crossdressers, transsexual, and many other gender-variant people. Not all are happy living under that framework. transsexuals in particular have issues with such things. Let’s presume the following: You are a male-assigned person who identifies as female. You may have gone to some effort to effect that change be it medication, hair removal, and/or possibly various surgeries. You have likely changed your name, your documentation, and your general appearance to get to a place of comfort. You may have a partner or spouse who also sees you as a woman,regardless of your orientation. You live life as a woman. So, are you still transgender, or just a woman? I would say arguably you might not be trans anymore. Congratulations you are “cured”.

Many trans folk who get to that place would rather stand in the rain than under the umbrella – the rain being the world outside the “T” or even the LGBT community. What is interesting is the schism that results from that mindset. Some trans persons go “stealth,” blending into the woodwork and living lives where they have little interaction with other “Ts”. And the “why” is confusing to many. The problem: public perception. You see the media and many in the LGB universe, tend to go for the extremes, and this is the perception of what transgender means in homophobic America. Not those of us who live in the mainstream world. Those “part-time” persons create a distorted set of assumptions about the rest of us.

Why does this stuff rub some many transsexual persons so wrong? Partly because for those of us who identify as such you will find that on Monday morning going to work or school we will look, act, and be attired as the same person we were on Saturday night. And when you are one of the other categories you have the option to fall back to your “regular” gay, straight, and/or gender conforming persona and that cultural safety net, no matter how small, is still there for you. For those who have transitioned not so much. Who and what you are is ever-present, often even with a casual glance by others whether or not you have an umbrella overhead. Oh look, it’s raining again.

As published in Baltimore OUTloud

PART 4 - Commitment – What does it take to “stay the course”?

I had a pause in the presentation of these thoughts before crafting this fourth part of the story.  I took the time to speak to the sponsor of HB235 in her office in Annapolis, not once, not twice but now three times.  I visited with the Vice Chair of the Health and Government Operations committee, who happens to be one of my delegates, at least two times.  My state senator whom I have called on every time I have been in Annapolis who now knows me by sight and name when I come into his office.   I attended several of the EQMD trans legislative working group meetings. I testified before that same HGO committee as an advocate for HB235.   I attended the 2011 NCTE Lobby Day in DC and went to see my US Senator and Representative.  I met and talked to a lot of other legislators, aides, gay and lesbian advocates and yes, many other transpeople.  I had wanted to obtain some of their perspective before writing this down. 

I mention all of that because I think going and seeing a cross section is of value.  So many of the pundits make their claims and decisions from the comfort of the chair and computer keyboard without benefit of talking to real people in person.  And the rhetoric of division does not serve us.  You need to be visible.  This past Monday I again lobbied in Annapolis with many others.  A large number of people walking the halls advocating for the bill were not trans.  They were LGB or supporters from places like PFLAG.  This has been more common than not in my experiences over the last few months.  This is indeed a coalition of the willing.  I have met so many people who are willing to call me friend it is almost overwhelming.  This is the future I am striving for.

Again I reiterate, I am an engineer.  I solve problems with systems.  More often than not they are legacy systems.  Things that were there before I showed up but that presently were not working, or needed extension or enhancement.  So I again beg your forgiveness in working on a solution to what I see.

Let me state the problem clearly and concisely if I can. 

Transpeople of all varieties face discrimination and presently do not enjoy the same legal protections afforded other classes of identified persons in the State of Maryland.

That was not too hard now was it.  The real debate now is how do you fix that?  I contend you do not do it any one arena with great effect.  Be it in society, culturally, legally or personally.  If you excuse the expression, it takes a “combined arms” effort.  I will break this down into the 4 parts that I think need doing.

• Education
• Visibility
• Momentum
• Legal Change

Education

In most of history fear has been a great motivator of peoples for either change or to maintain status quo.    And for the most part fear is the number one reason for prejudice and discrimination.  The ugly reality is that it is probably in our DNA.  Social groups form to insure survival.  Fear of outsiders, those different than us, probably served a survival goal.  We are wired to be afraid.  Often those fears have been institutionalized.  In our world it is found in religious beliefs, political views, and even in what local sports team do you support. 

Fear of transpeople is real.  Accept that.  We challenge long set notions and ideas that are fundamental, and visceral, to many people.  We put them in an uncomfortable place.  We make them think about gender.  They do not like having to think about it, but yet, there we are asking them consider such questions prompted by our mere presence.

This would not be the first time this has existed in our nation or others.  Fear of persons of color.  Fear of non-Christians.  Fear of gays and lesbians.  These have all been front and center and yet today in large measure they are dropping away because we have found ways to mitigate fear.  The same is true for transpeople.  So how do we start that process?

We educate.  We do it calmly.  We do it quietly.  We do it directly.  Our band needs to find a way to rally around a set of clear objectives that teach the world about us.  And explain who and what we are and more clearly what we are not.  And how we are not a threat, or concern to them or their loved ones.

I see this education falling into several organized outreach efforts.

            1) Schools/Universities

            2) The Media

            3) Lawmakers and Politicians

            4) Religious Organizations

For the purposes of brevity in this writing I will not enumerate details on each of these  efforts but suffice to say that the goal is having an informed public about the issues facing transpeople will allow them to posses the tools to counter those opposed to us.  And create a set of allies which are sorely needed.

Visibility

This is probably the biggest challenge to the trans community.  As our goal in many, dare I say most, cases is to blend in.  That is not to say be stealth or go into the “woodwork”.  However many do.  And as such there is a talent drain on our community.  And I can understand the young transperson’s desire to “just live life”.  But there are many of us who are late transitioners.  Who have had a lifetime of experience and connections to our worlds.  Be they professional, social or personal.  We need to be out.  And visible.

Recently I was chastised by some for remaining a Boy Scout Leader after transitioning.  The reality of this is two fold.  First, I am still a Boy Scout Leader!  Go figure.   I was asked by my troop to stay on.  I offered to go and they said no, we would like to keep you.  My decision to stay and be visible will result in many future interactions with scouts and other adult leaders.   For most I suspect I may be the only transperson they ever see or interact with.  I will make change from within.  And that kind of change is permanent.

I did the same with my work in robotics at the local high school.  And the result is the same.  I have had no issues with any single student or parent.  In fact I got a note from a concerned parent upon going full time.  Her concern was that I would quit.  Her words, “Thank goodness you are only changing gender.”   And I have done the same with my business, remaining and doing my job as so many of us do. 

Do I advertise that I am trans to everybody.  No.  No more so than I identify my blue eyes to people.  They can see.  If I am asked I do not deny my history.  This is different than flaunting it.  You will not find me walking the mall with a sandwich board that reads, “use to be a dude”. 

The problem with hiding means that people do not know us.  And for us to progress forward, they need to know us.

Momentum

As recent events in Japan have highlighted a Tsunami is a force that you cannot stop.  So is fundamental change.  I note that the behavior of the Tsunami was not like you see in the movies.  This very tall, high speed, wall of water, crashing into buildings obliterating them into matchsticks.  As we can see it happens very differently.  It creeps up on you.  Rising with a slow deliberate pace.  The force gradually, and relentlessly pushing.  And eventually nearly everything gives way.  And floats off in a stew of human made refuse and seawater.  The images are remarkable.  The power, not the speed, is what is impressive.  And that, is indeed, momentum.  And momentum is what makes change happen.

Our trans community has very little momentum.  I find it amusing to hear friends of mine say they have a “movement”.  A true movement in this country of 300+ million would have to be a good sized number, probably tens of thousands.  I am pretty sure it is not just 20 activists holding signs in front of a public building.  And so how do we become a substantial movement?  Well the first two things I have listed, education and visibility, go a long way to that.  It creates allies.  And allies when combined with ideas and action can create a movement.

Instead of bashing our LGB friends we should be adopting their play book.  They, unlike us, are actually making progress.  Marriage Equality will happen.  And likely so in many places.  And will do so in the next few years.  DADT is done.  DOMA is dead or dying.  This is not by chance.  This is because there is a Tsunami sweeping the country.  And this is because our LGB friends took their time and generated momentum for change.

Here is what I think we need to do.

• Establish organized trans action groups (by state, or county or whatever)
• Ally and build coalitions with like minded organizations, trans or otherwise.  Any group seeking the advancement of civil rights is common ground
• Develop plans for legislation that helps all groups
• Support plans for legislation that helps specific groups, whether it is your group or not
• Mind the tone a rhetoric that may offend your ally
• Insure that you have native leadership from the region where you are trying to effect change. (All politics is local)

     

Some of this has started in Maryland already, but absent all of it you will have a fractured and factional group setting.  We must gain allies.  You will not win without them.

The last bit is the hard one for the trans community.  You are going to have to commit two things that are in short supply.  Time and money.  You see if you do take a look at that LGB playbook you will find that both of those were amply supplied.   And that means we are going to have to learn how to do the same.  This is a marketing campaign folks (something a I know a little about as a business executive).  And even the most modest efforts (like TransParent Day) still require some money to lubricate the machinery.  And until we figure that out we are going to be on the sidelines.

Legal Change

I listed this last on purpose.  Because it is, last.  If we have done the first three things I have listed here then this one becomes a much easier thing to do.  The first part of legal change requires us to create momentum by being visible and educating our legislators.  Yeah I know what a nutty idea.  But the reality is these folks are not too responsive to somebody shouting at them.  Either from the street corner, or on the phone, or by TYPING IN ALL CAPS IN AN EMAIL OR A BLOG.  They are just going to turn you off and ignore you.

So the first step in effecting legal change is going to see them.  In Maryland those folks meet to do work in 90 days starting in January.  And as important as it is to go see them when they are in session it is even more important to see them when they are not in Annapolis.   And frankly if you are going to see them during session there is no way you can get a block of their time to get them to an understanding of what is needed.  You are there too late.  So go see them.  It makes a difference.

Here is my plan of how to proceed in Maryland.  Whether HB235 passes or not, there will still be no support for Public Accommodations in Maryland in 2011.  This is a sober fact.  And so the work is incomplete.

1) In light of how discrimination law in Maryland is actually handled and considering the only places where public accommodations have teeth, the focus must be on passing Gender Identity law with Public Accommodations at the county level.

Only certain counties are allowed to do this in the state constitution.  Montgomery (which already has GI protections), Prince Georges, Howard, Baltimore County, and Baltimore City (Also with protections).  Our immediate efforts need to be applied in Howard (where I live), PG and BC.  Once those protections are in place you will cover about 61% of the state population.

We need to organize by county.  Find willing leadership in each of those jurisdictions.  Meet with county legislators and executives.  Build a coalition and start a dialog.  Now.

2) In order to fix the problem with Maryland (our referendum) we should amend the constitution accordingly.  Last fall the voters voted to have a constitutional convention.  But the measure failed due to a narrow interpretation of how to count.

So we have to take that through the normal channels. :(

I would propose raising the number of signatures to at least 6% or maybe even 10%.  The question is can we convince legislators of doing this.  And this is a great reason to go see your legislator and ask him/her about it.  Imagine their surprise at a transperson coming to see them on a non-trans issue.

If we ally with our LGB "friends" on this matter it would go a long way to eliminating one of the objections of legislators to Marriage Equality.  I suspect any group which has been seeking support of fence sitting legislators has a stake in this change.

3) Once we have all the available counties onboard and the referendum updated you go back to the legislature and ask them to give the same rights enjoyed by %61 of the population to the remainder.  Those where the law is already in place would have cover.

You can also get bills like HB285 moved ahead which would finally begin to put some teeth into public accommodations in Maryland.

My guess is this can be done in 3-5 years with a concerted effort.  With the counties coming online first.

Conclusion

This has been just one Marylander’s opinion.  You are certainly entitled to your own.  But I note that unless we modify our tone.  Find ways to work collectively as transpeople and with other allies this is all moot.  I am pleased that  HB235 has woken up so many.  Now you are going to have to get out of your chair and do something.  And if you are unable or unwilling to do so I might suggest you stop taking pot shots at those who are.

This will be long, hard, relentless work.  You are in the business of creating a Tsunami of your own without the benefit of an earthquake to kick it off.  Let’s get busy Maryland.

PART 3 – Incrementalism

I had to laugh as I started this section.  My spell checker did not even recognize the word incrementalism.    Apparently it is such an uncommon word that it is not in that “electronic dictionary”. 

As I have explained previously I am an engineer.  A computer engineer to be exact.  And I would have to say that since I entered the industry nearly three decades ago there have been a lot of changes.   You know what the funny bit is.  They did not happen all at once.

I know you are laughing at me right now.  You are saying, well of course they did not happen all at once.  What did you expect?  Yeah, we went from an 8086, to a 286, to a 386 to a Pentium and then a Pentium II, and so on.  You get the idea.  Each one was a little better, a little faster, a little cheaper and so on.  The development was, oh, wait for it.  Incremental.  Go figure.  And you know what, that is the way most of the world works.  Very little changes instantaneously over night.  I contend that when it does, we just happened to notice it.  And the change had been happening for a long time previously.  Like those mushrooms that appeared overnight in your front yard.

And so it goes with law and public policy too.    I am not saying for an instant that there are not leaps.  They certainly happen.  But like the fault line in an earthquake, they are usually the result of a lot of forces that have built up over time.

I have heard a lot of folks comparing the struggle of Trans rights to those of race and in particular of black Americans.  I would say to those folks.  Hardly.  I keep looking on TV to see a modern Bull Connor with fire hoses and German Shepherds nipping at at the heels Transpeople on the street.  Of a Trans support group being bombed by an organized set of hoodlums   Of a great Trans leader standing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with thousands of Transpeople looking on cheering.  Of a groundswell of average white people saying “well enough is enough let’s fix this thing.”  Yeah, it is exactly the same as that.  Not.

That struggle took more than one hundred years to get to where it had critical mass.  The nation fought a war over such things, and that was just the start.  
And so to claim our struggle is anything like that would lead me to feel insulted if I was a black woman, let alone a black Transwoman.  The reality is I can empathize with that struggle.  But I can never know it.  And to presume I do is at best, insincere and arrogant.

And so when I look at my home state of Maryland and I hear noise about HB235 being a sellout.  And that we should take lessons from the civil rights movement of the 60’s and that what did not work then will not work now.  Or what did then will work now too.  I have to say nonsense.  Everything in the world is incremental.  Now I will demonstrate that point.

Even if HB235 had public accommodations in it and even if it could pass and survive a referendum, guess what, it would still be incremental.  Because it would not give you total equality.  It would not get you health insurance that has Trans specific care in it.  It would not protect you if you ended up in the criminal justice system. And, wait for it, it would not give you the right to sue somebody for refusing to sell you a hamburger because you are Trans.

Now I have your attention.  You see Maryland’s existing public accommodations law is very weak, and under it, unlike in employment and housing, there is no right to sue for it. Someone being denied a public accommodation can file a complaint with the Maryland Commission on Human Relations, but this weak law only allows the commission to order the place to stop discriminating in the future, and the place can be fined $500 for the first offense (and the money that the discriminator pays goes to the state coffers, not the person who experienced discrimination).  And for those keeping track of facts this is the real reason Sandy Rawls pulled her support from the bill.  Ask her…

Let me make this clear.  We have been seeking equality.  Not superiority.  And so even if we put the public accommodations in HB235, guess what.  It is a paper tiger.  It means nothing.  Or at best it means $500 for a business who messes up.  You can read up on it all here:

So in looking at incrementalism there are two kinds in play here.  The first is time.  You get something, you wait a bit, you get more.  The second is in space.  And by space I mean local government.

There have been charges tossed out there that you MUST have a state law.  That it is the only solution.  Really?  I guess the well over 100+ other U.S. municipalities with gender identity protections missed that point and went ahead on their own.  And in point of fact it exists right here in Maryland, right now.  Montgomery County and Baltimore City have protections.  So I guess the feared “Balkanization” of the state is already underway.  And have there been problems?   I have not heard of any riots in adjacent counties as a result.  Nor has there been a flood of folks to, or from, Montgomery County that I am aware of.  Perhaps somebody else has data.

In point of fact the Maryland State Code, via article 49B, allows certain counties/cities to enact their own discrimination laws, separate from the state.  I kid you not.  It has and can be done in Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Howard County, Montgomery County and Prince Georges County.  How about that for precedent?  Here, don’t take my word for it, go read the ordinances yourself.

Local Ordinances

• Baltimore City Code Art. 4 §1-1, et seq.

http://cityservices.baltimorecity.gov/charterandcodes/

• Baltimore County Code §29-1-101, et seq.

http://www.amlegal.com/baltimoreco_md/

• Howard County Code §12.200, et seq.

http://library2.municode.com/default-test/home.htm?infobase=14680&doc_action=whatsnew

• Montgomery County §27-1, et seq.

http://www.amlegal.com/montgomery_county_md

• Prince George’s County Div. 12 §2-185, et seq.

http://egov.co.pg.md.us/lis/

So if our counties and cities, at least the most progressive ones, found that the right way to proceed in Maryland was to do things this way where should you be adding additional protections on public accommodations?    Do you think it is easier to convince the Howard or PG County Council to act as opposed to our fearful state legislators?  That assuming there is a referendum on the matter that it is easier and more likely to defend it at the county level rather than the state?  I do.  And the funny thing is, so did somebody else long before me.  Otherwise this framework would not already be in place.  Let's use the tools that are already in front of us.

If I missed a point or got my info wrong please let me know.  I confess I am not a lawyer, or a politician and there is a possibility that my interpretation of this is not correct.  If so please offer some backup rather than just belligerent assertion. 

So let me wrap this one up.  Adding public accommodations to HB235 will do almost nothing to help the community.  It at best creates a slap on the hand to an offender.  With respect to public accommodations Incrementalism is the only way you can add something that might remotely have some impact, and the fact is it is already how we do this with respect to discrimination in Maryland.  Let’s not reinvent the wheel.

PART 2 - Linkage – Why same sex marriage and gender identity protections are not linked

Before beginning this section it is important to understand that the legislature of Maryland meets for a short term.  A mere 90 days in the year.  That means that all bills that are to become law must be introduced, referred to committee, reviewed, hearings held, floor votes taken and then it needs to be done all over again in the other chamber as we have a House of Delegates and a Senate.  In the scheme of things, that is not a long time to do anything.

And so if you had two items of business with the legislature you would probably need to get both queued up at nearly the same time.  And of course that is exactly what has happened in Maryland with respect to HB235 the Gender Identity Anti-Discrimination Act and SB116/HB55 Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act.  Both of these bills are of interest to the LGBT community in Maryland and both have been endorsed by Equality Maryland.

When HB235 was introduced without public accommodations there were many in the Trans community that made the statement that our LGB “friends” had thrown us “under the bus” yet again.  And one could make an uninformed decision that the removal of that language was somehow “bartered” away in a proverbial “smoke filled room”.   That in order to garner support for marriage equality the LGB part of the world had sold off our rights in the process.

That sort of thinking makes a couple of assumptions.   The first is that such a discussion was actually even had and the second that the terms of the barter were put forward by LGB lobbyists and not the legislators themselves.  The reality is that the only coupling is the calendar.  And in this case the legislators told us, if you put public accommodations in HB235 the bill will never see the light of day.  Period.  If you like you can ask the sponsors of the bill, they will tell you.  Sandy Rawls did.

I am reminded by the old discussion of cause and effect.  It is a well known fact that in Summer months ice cream sales go up.  And in those same months in most urban areas the crime rate goes up.  Quite naturally it is reasonable to assume then that increased ice cream sales lead to more crime.  Or is it that the crime leads people to eat more ice cream, I forget which.    Obviously that argument is fallacious.  It is probably most likely due to the heat, and the fact that people are out-of-doors more.  But even those assumptions in the absence of real data could be suspect.  And so it goes here in Maryland with these two bills.

Let’s take a closer look without the “gut reaction”.  Marriage Equality as an issue can stand on its own two legs.  I am pretty sure this is the case.  In the wake of the repeal of DADT, the events surrounding the Proposition 8 case in California, and even in our own state, where the Attorney General and Governor have agreed to the recognition of same sex marriages from out of state, it is pretty clear there is a sea-change underway.   Meaning there is a body of supporters for this notion.  Be they citizens, activists, lobbyists or legislators.   And the interesting bit is that the arguments for Marriage Equality are not made stronger or weaker by the presence of a completely independent gender identity bill.  In point of fact it has no effect at all.   

I would challenge the critics to point out which legislator changed their position on Marriage Equality because public accommodations were not present in HB235.  Go ahead, tell me which legislators?    The answer is none.  And absent that smoking gun, or even the hint of gunpowder residue there is no case to be made.    And even  if a legislator did make that assertion, do you really think he/she would care about alienating a few transpeople?  I doubt it.  He could just oppose the gender identity bill outright.

Those saying it was taken off the table because it jeopardizes marriage equality missed the point.  The marriage equality issue is so fundamental to the LGB community do you not think that if trans rights were in the way of that in any way at all that “they” (Gay Inc. as I keep hearing) would have not even bothered to promote a Trans bill at all in Maryland.  I mean if your eggs are in one basket then let’s go “all in”.  Why would you even bother allocating any resources for a second battle?   Especially with the money you got from folks to specifically fight the first one.  I am pretty sure that there have not been any non-trans LGB folks that when sending in support dollars to their lobbyist organization that said, “Please make sure my money is spent on the Gender Identity bill exclusively”.  The reality is the opposite was probably true. 

Seriously, how do getting Trans rights benefit LGB people?  Um, they don’t.  And yet, despite that reality, organizations like EQMD are still pushing a bill for us.   And then when they come and back a bill with rights for us we criticize them, question their motives and commitment, call them names,  and vilify them.  Frankly, if I was on that team I might just take my ball and go home.  And yet, they still do not do this.

And if we do not like the bill as it presently stands who took the time to meet with their legislators in 2009 and 2010 to help craft the present legislation?  Go ahead, I’ll wait for you to raise your hands.  All you folks out of state with so much to say, put your hands down, you do not live here.  Just the locals ok?  Hmm, not too many hands up.   Ok if you did not do that then you at least met with your activist and lobby organizations to ask them what they were doing to get a bill introduced, right?  No, you did not do that either?  Um, ok, well at least you sent them some money so they could do the heavy lifting for you on your behalf right?  How’s that?  You did none of that?  And now you are upset?  If that is the case then why do you think you have a right to be the Monday morning quarterback of the game. 

And there is the rub.  We Transfolk are not well organized, we are not involved (please hold your cards and letters, I know there are some that are indeed involved, and committed and dedicated).  I am talking about Maryland now.  Where I live.  Where I have lived for two decades.  Where I have transitioned, in place.  And the truth is our numbers are small, our wallets are shallow, and our time is limited as many of us are just trying to make ends meet.  And so as a “class” we are under represented and unheard.  And so my take is that when you get some “friends” who say we would like to help.  You should probably take them up on it.  But you should never forget that help comes with its own agenda.  And when you accept it you have to accept that too.

My last thought is that we complain about Marriage Equality being the total focus of the LGB groups, clearly this is critical to them. But the reality is that Marriage Equality is critical to Transpeople too.  Look at the Nikki Araguz case in Texas.  Given the orientation diversity I have seen in the Trans community I would say Marriage Equality should be at least as important to us as our LGB allies if not more so.   Maybe we should stop tossing rotten tomatoes and eggs at them for a moment and have a conversation?  I am, how about you?